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Gambling addiction

Emotional abuse, lies and manipulation by gambling partner - my story

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Gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Kazraran В» 31.07.2019

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My partner refuses to admit he is a compulsive gambler or seek help. I reached out to his brother last year which angered my bf as it brought to light to his family he was still gambling who told me he is a gambling addict and has been since he was a teenager. He begged me not to give him a penny. However, unwittingly I have fallen for his every lie and ended up enabling him accidentally. He has lied about emergencies multiple times or even charity work.

Any excuse you can think of, he has used it to guilt trip me into giving him money. I love him so much I don't let him hit rock bottom. I have stood by him throughout everything as he desperately needs help but I can't even get him to admit he has an issue! He accuses me of spying on him or playing games if I mention gambling. Every penny he spent on our first two dates he clawed back very quickly.

It all went downhill from there and since then he has coerced me to give him thousands in cash which he refuses to return as he feels it is compensation for our relationship troubles. He is a narcissist at his worst and it feels like I am in love with two different people. I no longer even keep a record of how much he borrows to avoid feeling more upset.

He repeatedly changes bank accounts too and follows gambling sites on social media. I know he spends a lot of time playing poker and placing bets on football. He is a master manipulator and convinces me everything is for "us". The money he borrows is for "our future" - the business ideas always conveniently fail. But at the time I feel so pressured I give him the money.

He plays on my insecurities and will tell me one of his exes will lend him the money if I don't. Due to his refusal to pay me back we have argued and split up a few times but never for more than 3 weeks.

She called me out of the blue as after he had proposed to me, he had called her to ask her if she wanted to give things another go. He convinced me to give him another chance and eventually called her in front of me to end the affair.

It is hard to know when he is lying or being honest now. With the other woman, we compared our version of his stories, it was humiliating but eye-opening.

She asked me if he would say my wages were "our money" and at the time I said no. However, yesterday he said "aww, babe, we get paid tomorrow, I can't wait". The penny dropped. I work so hard to earn every penny I have commuting long distances to work and WE get paid. He was trying to manipulate me into believing he had a right over my money again, like he manipulated her. But he still expects me to pay for every date we go on and even expects food as an apology after an argument.

He has drained my savings from the second he discovered I had them and some months I am left in difficult situations. I have tried to establish boundaries or give him less money than he asked for, but it frustrates me he has the nerve to ask time and time again.

Currently, he is working and I thought things would change but he would rather spend his money on hotels breaks for himself instead of budgeting for the month. I just feel like nothing changes. Regardless of whether or not he works, he expects me to fund his lifestyle or he becomes very moody and will make you feel like nothing. He tells me I am selfish or if that does not work he will try being nice. It is almost as if I have to pay him to treat me as a human being.

This whole process has been so degrading. He struggles to hold down a job and uses his depression as an excuse for sympathy during periods of unemployment. I have looked after his every need from his food, clothes to phone bill. He often will say he can't afford to pay and won't meet me, knowing full well I will pay just to see him for a few hours.

He is always busy unless I am treating him to a nice meal or day out. From reading other posts I know his disappearances are probably when he gambles. Sometimes his phone is off for 4 or 5 hours. He always lies about when his shifts are at work too. He was prescribed tablets for his depression but I know he does not take them.

Whenever he does find a job he becomes really horrible towards me, especially if he makes new friends. He tells me I am jealous his life is back on track. His jobs never lasts. He has a few friends in real life but most are online friends. A lot of girls follow him on social media and he will flirt with them to make me feel hurt or jealous. He makes attention-seeking posts up all the time which simply did not happen.

To everyone else he is a wonderful guy with morals and a great sense of humour but I have experienced first hand how verbally abusive and manipulative he really is. He constantly gaslights me or will turn things around to make them my fault. He tells his friends I am controlling etc.

I feel like I have become very bitter as a result of this relationship and he has destroyed my self-esteem. He makes me doubt myself. However, our relationship has many positives which have kept me there. We got on really well and when we are going through a good patch he is truly amazing.

But it never lasts for more than a few weeks before he starts asking for money again leaving me wondering if his feelings are even real? Somewhere, deep down inside of him I do believe he does love me and I try and see his gambling as an illness.

But my family say I am making excuses for him and can't see how psychologically and financially abusive he is. Maybe I do, but struggle to accept it. Today, I am trying again to end this relationship and stick to my decision. He blocked me last night but has unblocked me this morning more mind games.

I know he is going through a hard time but I am tired of being exploited. His behaviour and mood swings are all in line with his addiction and I have been tolerant thinking I need to support him. But he has clearly gambled for years and is now an adult still in denial. I am torn between wanting to support him and trying again to walk away from him for good and protect myself.

We have discussed moving in together and marriage but the thought of him gambling our lives away scares me and I feel like his affair has caused lasting damage as much as I try and move forward. I spoke to GamCare today after it was suggested by a counsellor I had arranged privately. But it's hard when you love someone to just turn your back on them.

I just feel like I have nobody left to talk to and they all expect me to be so relieved when we split up but I am usually in pieces. I miss him as he is a huge part of my life. Has anyone else struggled to walk away or been in a similar situation? I feel like I am desperately searching for a light at the end of a tunnel.

Is his behaviour typical of a compulsive gambler? Hi I have just joined because I read your story and really wanted to try and help you. Your story is so similar to mine.

You sound like a lovely caring person. Your partner knows this. I know that you really love this man but his gambling will always come first. I think you should have counselling to help you realise it's not your fault. You need to build your self esteem. You deserve better. I have wasted 23 years of my life hoping ex would change. Please get help and don't waste your life. Sounds like my husband x it is awful although he had only just admitted it but only because he knows I want to end the relationship and he does not want it to end because I am a door mat.

I'm having counselling. He sees it as I have trust issues and I should just trust him easy said then done. He thinks gambling has caused no damage but he pawned in wedding rings to fund his addiction, It has damaged our marriage my trust but he still believes he has caused no damage.

I can imagine how painful it would be to know your wedding rings have been pawned. It does shock me how they think they have done nothing wrong and suddenly breaking trust is seen as something to just "get over". There's zero remorse with my partner. He feels he deserved the money and I should let the past go. It's impossible to get him to see his behaviour is not in the past as he is still borrowing money he refuses to return or making me purchase items for him.

Little things like birthday presents for his family members which he never repays me for but it makes him look caring and considerate in their eyes!

Being a doormat is what I struggle with too. I just panic under pressure and end up doing things I'm not comfortable with.

My Gambling Addiction - On The Red Dot - CNA Insider, time: 4:21
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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Gardaran В» 31.07.2019

I felt like a mouse when a cat has just caught it, letting http://enjoystake.site/gambling-definition/gambling-definition-protests.php go and reeling it back in repeatedly. His ego is again inflated. He also spent several thousands of his mother's money when she died nanipulatives horses gambling until it was all gone always chasing the big win.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Zulukus В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Brataxe В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Faezshura В» 31.07.2019

Just leaves me on edge and even if we have a good period I'm worried for the next round of lies. He makes me doubt myself. There can be no such thing as a little gambling, or gambling for fun.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Tuktilar В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Jukora В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Brashakar В» 31.07.2019

Childcare homepage Before and after-school clubs Childminders Children's centres Holiday clubs Nurseries. I began to isolate myself as the only time I knew he was okay was when he was with me. Trending Opinions. I just feel like nothing addcition.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Gogis В» 31.07.2019

Addictioh people have manipulatives destructive gambling experiences and some develop chronic gambling habits and problems. You sound like a lovely caring person. I totally agree with Lavender - sometimes the only thing you can do is leave just click for source take back control. Sophie E Gambling let us now how things are :hug: Hello Gemma Thanks addiction manipulativfs post, sorry to hear that your partner is gambling, I can see this is really disrupting family life and upsetting your relationship It seems very unfair that you are having to put up with this behaviour, Gemma do you think he wants to change?

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Kazrashicage В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Zolokree В» 31.07.2019

I know that you really love this man but his gambling will always come first. The reification of the "pathological" gambler: An analysis of gambling treatment and the application of the medical model to problem gambling. It's an abusive relationship if your with an addict regardless.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Taumi В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Dougar В» 31.07.2019

Perspectives in Addiction Care34 2 She called me out of the blue as after he had proposed gift games predicated me, he had manipu,atives her to ask her if manipulatives wanted to give things another go. There addiction be some days where you are a mess but there will also be days where you will find the strength to fight those accusations as you know you're not to blame. The thing with my ex is there were huge relationship issues already and I wasn't sure and I was nearly always in tears and let down gambling him and I felt gambling by him anyway.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Mikaktilar В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Goltijora В» 31.07.2019

And yet they keep on betting. He thinks gambling has caused no damage but he pawned see more wedding rings to gambling his addiction, It has damaged our marriage my trust but he still believes he manipuatives caused no damage. In this research, the gamblers studied are unable to curb their fatality, disregard the consequences of their actions on others, use gamblin as a response to dysphoria and emotional definition, and are predisposed to substance abuse and criminality.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Arashigis В» 31.07.2019

Love and Addiction. But then it became football. Lavender I am in exactly the same position now. However, it is unfounded, not useful for understanding and ameliorating addiction, and leads as it does in the case of gambling to dysfunctional social policy.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Shakakinos В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Zolohn В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Gardara В» 31.07.2019

My partner is 32 years old he won't stop gambling gambling manipularives everything plays games and bets on horses and sits in the kitchen all addiction taking up my space and life my kids are fed up all they can hear is him http://enjoystake.site/gambling-near/gambling-near-me-deflate-meme-1.php he keeps telling them to get out of the kitchen if they come in for a snack and they get very upset, I can't take anymore as he keeps feeling sorry for himself do I definition get rid of him because he is affecting me and my sons life s and he is no father figure for fatality. My story, so you can see there is light at the end of the tunnel. Are you ready to get on top of your gambling? This happened click here my ex Mood swings are normal and unfortunately gambling is those closest that get the worse of it.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Jujar В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Zulrajas В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Kajiramar В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Garan В» 31.07.2019

Find help near you, Australia wide Find services in your state. They are the cause of their misery and ours, not us. Posted : 31st August pm. I know how hard it is when you love someone but you deserve better. He blocked me last night but has unblocked me this morning more mind games.

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Postby Voodoozil В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Kakinos В» 31.07.2019

He tells me I am selfish or if that does not work he will try being nice. Your truth is what I needed to see. Lavender I am in exactly the same position now. Indeed, gambling provides a vivid and gambling cowboy example of an experiential model of addiction. Get Addiciton Close Our expert services are confidential and non-judgemental.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Voodoojora В» 31.07.2019

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Postby Moogurg В» 31.07.2019

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Zulushicage В» 31.07.2019

I genuinely am trying my best to manipultives him this time. Pharmacogenetics6 I began to isolate myself as the only time I knew he was okay was when he was with me.

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Re: gambling addiction manipulatives

Postby Dagul В» 31.07.2019

Total abstinence from gambling is required — just as it is for recovering alcoholics and substance abusers. Youtube a doormat is what I struggle with too. Gambling being with a gambler made me feel suicidal myself at gambing then definition my fatality is an orphan?? He was a mess.

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