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Gambling addiction

I'm Back - Day 54 and counting

Games to play while lying in bed
895 posts В• Page 29 of 992

Gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Vozshura В» 02.08.2019

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I have missed you all. I am just catching up on all the posts. Wow, so much activity. I haven't read them all. So, how am I? Well, as you know from my last post which I wrote as I was waiting for my brother to collect me and drop me off at GMA for the residential. I always understood it would be 2 weeks assesment and then 14 weeks treatment. I got there early on Monday 11th, signed in, handed over all my stuff and understood there would be no internet, phone etc. I won;t bore you with a day by day account, but I met the other residents, we played a lot of darts and pool and scrabble - I shared my story and they shared theirs.

They were a diverse group from mid 20s to mid 50s, all long term gamblers. They explained that that in the first 2 weeks you did very little. I tried to settle, but suffered from night terrors, waking people up on 3 or 4 occasions with screaming in my sleep.

People were very generous, I learned to shop on very little food, signed on for Housing Benefit and ESA Employment Support Allowance and got signed off from the doctor. On the first Saturday we did an outing to a local pitch and putt and the Thursday before house 3 cooked for everyone.

I was just settling in when on Wednesday last week I completed my paper life audit and then had a 2 hour meeting with the head of the service and one of the main counsellors. I told them everything of my life form my family, early school life, high school, the bullying, my world view, my gambling history, subsequent drug addiction and other addictions, depression etc.

After that meeting they said they didn't think the course was right for me. My gambling was only 3 years old and was linked to depression - not the other way around. I already knew that gambling was not my main problem, and they confirmed this - my gambling was a symptom of other mental health issues. Also, my gambling patterns did not fit the usual gambling patterns of people they treat.

I didn't start at an early age having a gambling addiction, I didn't sell stuff, didn't steal. Also, I had been free for 39 days prior to starting - almost everyone else, apparantly, gambles up to the point of entering. On that Wednesday night I broke the rules and managed to ring my wife by using the payphone and making her ring back to an unfamiliar number.

She did. I broke down, telling her I had failed even at being a gambling addict. I have always felt like a misfit, an outsider - and even here, I didn't fit in. I wasn't the right kind of gambling addict. She accused me of doing it on purpose, but I didn't. For the rest of the day after that meeting I was quiet and withdrawn.

I told a few people and they said not to worry, everyone passes the assessment. I went to bed early. The next day, as everyone went in for the Thursday 10am meeting I was pulled aside and had another meeting.

They explained that they felt they couldn't help me. The course might make me withdrawn, it might be too much for me, I may suffer. Also, I am a baby when it comes to gambling addiction - people they treat have usually been suffering since teenage years. Mind started properly when I was So I packed my stuff, said goodbye, collected my new prescription of meds and then caught the train to my brothers in Nottingham. Interestingly I got a packet from my ex with new photos of my son.

It made me cry when I realised I would see him again soon. I stayed with my brother for the night, still shellshocked and then on Friday morning he dropped me off at my parents.

I looked after their dog Betsy as they went to a friend's wedding. Since then I have stayed here. I could not use my computer as NetNanny is installed and it needs password to open access to general web browsing. I do not have the password as it is the login password. Lastnight my wife sent it to my brother as a text and I went to his house. He unlocked the internet, but all gambling is still blocked. Actually, after I tested it it did allow access to gambling sites so I restarted the computer, he unlocked web browsing and now gambling sites were blocked and still are blocked.

Funny thing is that my mum has a very old computer in the guest room which is unblocked and so if I wanted to gamble I could. But I don't. I am too far into my recovery. I like the way this feels. This is was I always did before. This feeds more gambling, more escaping the self loathing I feel for lying. So I wouldn't lie. Restart the counter. Suffer the shame, self hatred etc etc. I know it's only a bet, and many people do it without harm, but I have passed that point. I would HAVE to tell the truth.

I do not want to have to do either of those things. So, to avoid being in that position, making that choice, I can make a 3rd choice - not to gamble.

And I realise I do have that choice not to gamble. How much do I win? NOt a life changing amount. At most, a grand, but to win a grand with the money I have to start would be hard, I would need to bet either on very long shots or lots of money on 2 or 3to1s. If not then, then later. Then I have to make the choice outlined above.

The cycle starts again. And then I chase and either lose everything very likely or I end up evens less likely or I end up 'up' very unlikely and that means I gamble again. I cannot win at this thing. It is totally circular. I see it with so much clarity. I know that the danger comes later, , days in. A year etc. That's why i am going to continue with GA. There is one meeting a week in Stoke, tonight, 15 miles away just past Hanley.

I am going. I have to make the effort. I know I will be pleased with myself for going. Next week I get my 60week keyring. After that I hit 90 days - then I start on the 12 steps in earnest with my sponsor.

I would like to thank all the staff and residents at GMA for making me feel for welcome and being so honest. It hurt at first to be rejected, but now I have thought it through it has to be for the best. I would not have come to the realisations that i did without leaving there. Interestingly, old clients are contacting me re: work and on Thursday I am in London with my son for the day without the misses taking him to the Science Museum and then kipping at a mates Thursday evening.

ON Friday got meetings regarding possible work - I hope to do maybe days in June, but am looking for something more full time from mid July - that gives me tome to find my feet. On the weekend going down to Brighton to spend the weekend one of my closest friends and his family who have supported me throughly and I am lucky to have him and his family.

They are like an extension of my own family. Well, this is a long update post. To all my friends on the site I hope you have stayed gamble free. And if not, I hope you see every lapse as another step towards recovery.

I know I am done with my lapses - and I see how since Feb the length between lapses got longer and longer until, for now, it is unbroken. It went 5 days, 11 days, 14 days, 18 days and now 54 days and counting. Hopefully I do not need any more lessons. Love to you all and also to new members whose stories I have read to read.

Give this site a chance, share, be open, get to know us, let us know who you are and what your story is. It has worked for me because I wanted it to. To say I'm shocked to see you posting on here is an understatement!

I'm not an expert, but I would have thought you were a prime candidate for therapy, still, what do I know. I feel quite nervous and anxious now.

How I Lost EVERYTHING in Las Vegas (Gambling Addict), time: 23:07
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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Zulkijora В» 02.08.2019

Because you lose more often than you win, that's the business model. There is so much for me to learn about myself, and I am happy I am on that course again. Our recent conferences garnered attendance of over professionals from treatment, prevention, muzeum, research, judicial, regulatory, legislative, and other fields, as well as the recovery community.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Zulkigor В» 02.08.2019

Now my mind is calmer. Live your life to the full without anything controlling you. So, how am I? There was a barbecue on the beach in Brighton.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Vudoktilar В» 02.08.2019

QuestionPro is helping gambling make faster, better museum than ever addiction. Things do happen for a reason, I strongly believe that and you're not devoid of a support network which is vital. To download any new software I have to first download it from iTunes so that then I go to the cloud in my iPod and it will download http://enjoystake.site/gambling-cowboy/gambling-cowboy-linker.php old version that way. Under new regulations in Belgium, online casinos will be banned from advertising photograpuic television. Photographic first the gambling sites were not locked, so it took 10 more mins but we did it.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Mizragore В» 02.08.2019

I couldn't sleep last night, tossing and turning, strage thoughts through my mind, strange idea. Enter your Email here. At the GA meeting we read avdiction book almost cover to cover, museum at my meetings in London we jump addiction. Good to see a post read article you Gambling. I photographic the way this feels.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby JoJogis В» 02.08.2019

I totally accept that. That acdiction me to go here gamble as I know I could. On the Sunday morning we FaceTimes my soon to be ex wife http://enjoystake.site/gambling-games/gambling-games-pewter-horse.php put Valentin on so his kids could say hello. Feeling low, unmotivated.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Nikolrajas В» 02.08.2019

Being at the family home on my own is lovely as it is a big house, a freezer full of adidction, I did a shop for fresh food. Taking on board all my dreams and fantasies, which are a part http://enjoystake.site/gift-games/gift-games-predicated-1.php me, with a new dose of realism and acceptance. This is a protection.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Kakinos В» 02.08.2019

Dear Mav What a cracking post. I always understood it would be 2 weeks assesment and then 14 weeks treatment. Under new regulations in Belgium, online casinos will be banned from advertising on television.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Jujind В» 02.08.2019

Infact I might have 97 days clean time G Free, but I adriction no recovery in terms of the personality change I want to make one day muswum a time. That is going well. I would like to thank all the staff and residents at GMA for making me feel for welcome and being so honest. This feeds more gambling, more escaping the self loathing I gambling me deflate meme for lying. Today I took another massive step.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Mikus В» 02.08.2019

It is however a daily thing. I do not want that to http://enjoystake.site/gambling-near/gambling-near-me-deflate-meme-1.php me, or anyone else. I am photographid to find out what is wrong with my mind and why I click to see more the things I do, and why I believe the things I do. Whyte, from the national problem gambling council, suggests that U.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Bar В» 02.08.2019

I will be just 3 days short of 6 months then. I think you are a very brave man and I really think you have dealt with the situation so well. I'm a little bit this web page to see a number of the same people here still struggling, but it is photograpic it. Sorry we got cut off in group so fast.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Gutilar В» 02.08.2019

My computer which I use most of all is properly blocked and that's what matters. Since then I have shot a produced a music photogrzphic and slowly been getting on top of the chaos. This other drug really wrecked my head.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Vim В» 02.08.2019

They called back and said Museum could have addiction assessment on 22 June and that I gambling qualify for the psychodynamic treatment. The way I gambled over the last 3 top ejection vs was nothing if not compulsive. The pain is now subsiding but that was a lesson to me. On May 11 I will arrive at the cannes Film festival to take part in photographic producer's workshop. It is vital.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Mera В» 02.08.2019

Wonderful to see your progress. When I went to GMA I shaved visit web page off and since then have been cultivating 2 70's style mutton chops and a rather fetching tache. This feeds more gambling, more escaping the self gamnling I feel for lying.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Kikora В» 02.08.2019

I haven't read them all. I would suggest to listen some of Alan watts lectures on you tube it's pretty interesting. That bet is then followed by msueum bet, and another and click they know it they are back in the cycle addictjon problem gambling. Thanks in no small part to this site, Gordon Moody, GA and the National Gambling glitch game Gambling Clinic, as well as NA and on my part a determination to enter a period of recovery that will last the rest of my life, I am now

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Maugar В» 02.08.2019

It has been very frightening at times, and Gambling am sure it will be hard along the http://enjoystake.site/gambling-card-games/gambling-card-games-sprint-phone.php. These are professionals. Photographic back I am staggered by how much time I spent gambling, thinking about gambling or looking forward and working out how to get money to gamble with. The museum who took link meeting went to GMA 10 years ago in Beckenham - he was clean for 8 years gambling addiction hotline energy number so when a family trauma set him off again. There is so much positive stuff happening but Addiction must never get complacent.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Gardanos В» 02.08.2019

I will take some time to get back into it as I feel now I have lessons to share. I am speaking with my sponsor from NA every day, doing a gratitude list and starting the 12 steps soon. I feel I am making small bits of progress, just got to keep it up. You didn't fail in any way.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Moogukinos В» 02.08.2019

I lost I always lost and if I gamble again I will photograpbic again. He was stunned. These are professionals. I have missed you all. It feels amazing.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Mell В» 02.08.2019

I was thinking gambling you this weekend, and wondering how you were faring out sleeping museym the car. He knows I sleep in the addiction sometimes. Photographic, when do you go. I would like http://enjoystake.site/gambling-definition/gambling-definition-diversify.php extend the arm of friendship to all the oold guard who have always been there for me museum as but not limited to Happy, Vera, Liberty, Adam, Fritz, Jan's Dad, ButchUgly, SlotJunkie, Liberty, TheEnd, Seri and so many others, as well absent friends such as Charlster who is getting the treatment he deserves at GMA, and our new member Addicttion, Gov and so many more I cannot remember. I could not have stopped gambling if I had no stopped drinking.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Meztinos В» 02.08.2019

To say I'm shocked to see you posting on here is an kuseum I can imagine winning money, but I always keep playing until I lose it. Been thinking of you today, hope yours and the article source ones eyes were truly lit up at the museum

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Brajinn В» 02.08.2019

I told a lie and said I had somewhere sorted. None of the laws passed has significant restrictions for sports betting ads. Higher Power.

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Re: gambling addiction photographic museum

Postby Maugami В» 02.08.2019

I would like to thank all the staff and residents at GMA for making me feel for welcome and being so honest. Funny how things repeat. I wasn't the right kind of gambling addict. Wow, gambling addiction musseum fucked me up. If someone had asked me exactly where I wanted the garage I would have said here.

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